The combat-hardened general was reviewing an elite squadron of paratroopers. "How do you like jumping?" he asked one soldier gruffly.
"I love it, sir," was the reply.
"And you?" asked the general of the next guy in line.
"It's the most exhilarating thing I've ever done, sir."
And so on down the line, until one soldier replied, "I hate it, sir."
"Then why do you jump?" asked the startled officer.
"Because I like being around the kind of men who want to."
"Gee, Mr. Cripps, we'd really like to give you that loan," chirped the bank officer to the rather seedy character, "but your credit rating isn't exactly...uh...superlative. What assurance can you offer that it'll be paid back on schedule?"
"Won't a gentleman's word of honor be sufficient?" he asked, in an injured tone.
"Certainly," she said brightly. "When will you be bringing him in?"
"You must be the worst caddie in the world," said the dejected golfer after a disastrous afternoon on the links.
"I doubts it, sir," replied the caddie. "That would be too much of a coincidence."
